Dad died almost 3 years ago. I'm dealing with his loss better as more and more days stack up behind me, however, there are certain days on the calendar that continue to hold me captive and can still bring me to my knees. Father's Day is one of those days.

Yesterday was Father's Day 2021 and we were in Oshawa, as we tend to be on special occassions. When Dad was alive, in the later years, he would tell me that we should spend Father's Day with my father-in-law, because Anna's Dad was ill and my father felt that, personally, he would be on this planet for many more years. It made sense to him that we should spend as much time with Anna's Dad as we could. Ironic, eh? Dad ended up leaving us first. But that was Dad. So selfless. Though I have to admit, I'd like to have a few of those Father's Days back right about now.

So, once again, it was a tough day. Father's Day just isn't the same without Pops. How could it be? The man who set the bar so high for Phil and I, as a Father, isn't here to celebrate. People like to tell you that "he's right here with you" and I don't doubt that he is...but it's not the same. How I long to give him a big hug or to just hear him on the phone in that radio-voice ..."Ningy on the car phone?". Or to see that big old smile as he walked through the doors of our house and joyfully said hi to everyone,  eventually getting down on one knee to say hi to his favorite grand-doggy, Rusty. I miss that! I miss it all.

But I realized something this morning, as I looked back on Father's day yesterday and how I held that heaviness so close to me...all day - I am forgetting that there is another side to Father's Day. My son. The best thing that ever happened to me. I spent so much time wallowing in the feelings of loss, that I wasn't focussing on a huge gift that God (and my beautiful wife) gave to me - Fatherhood! When I was told we couldn't have kids many years ago, I was devastated. I had always dreampt of being a Dad. I had the best Dad in the world and I wanted to be just like him and do all the things my Dad and I did and more. So, thanks to the stubborness of my wife, the Grace of God, and a little bit of modern science, Evan was born. This old guy did become a Dad. It's not lost on me how different this could have been and I thank God daily for this miracle...and, trust me, it was a miracle!

For many, there are 2 sides to Father's Day. Celebrating your father and then celebrating "being" a father. Though I miss having my father here with me, I was lucky enough to have 52 Father's Days with him! A big part of the legacy he left us was family and an incredible example of what it means to be a Father.  Though I am sure I will still have my moments moving forward, next year and every day leading up to that day, as well as every day after that, I will celebrate all it means to be a Father and be thankful to the Lord above for blessing me with the greatest son a guy could ask for and the best job in the world!

More than anything, I love being a Dad. I make my mistakes, but I think I've done okay, thus far. I always said if I could be half the father my Dad was to me, I'd be doing okay!

Happy Father's Day to all of the Dad's out there, past and present.
Miss you Dad. Thanks for showing us how it's done!

Enjoy every sandwich!